I have a few comments about my last entry posting the lyrics to a song that I found very funny.
I apologize for being insensitive. If the victim of the "violence" in the song had been a woman, I doubt that I would have viewed it as amusing. I was insensitive and didn't think about it as connected to any reality. The friend who wrote the song is a wonderful man and he wrote it as a humorous piece and wasn't condoning any type of domestic abuse. There was a series of events involving an over night guest, a wayward pet under the guest bed, and boxing lessons that inspired the tune. For my 50th birthday, my friend provided me with the only recorded copy of this song and it had the desired effect; it made me laugh. The irony is that my friend is a man who is a champion of the downtrodden and abused, and I confess, he was reluctant for me to share his song. Clearly, he is also wiser than I am.
In comments and emails, several of you have pointed out that domestic violence is a serious issue. I totally agree and I did not set out to trivialize such a serious problem in any way. For a two year period, I represented victims of domestic abuse in court, helping them secure restraining orders and child custody orders against their abusers.
I do not find this song offense and I am not apologizing for the song. It still makes me laugh and I think that my friend is a very clever satirist. His song seems far removed from the reality of domestic violence in my mind. However, I am apologizing for my insensitivity in not recognizing that its subject matter was potentially disturbing and offensive to some.
6 comments:
There's no way around that there is a double standard in humor, and it stems from the realties of the power balances involved. Abusers are almost always men, and when the victims are men, their abusers are usually still other men. When white people make fun of black people, there is a bite to it, because of the history of real discrimation and violence overwhelimingly perpetuated in that direction. When a Chris Rock or another black comic makes fun of the way uptight white people speak, no Larchmont Lockjaw WASPS are up in arms or even feel a sting. I've never known a straight person to be hurt by being called a "breeder" the way it stings for a gay person to be called a "fag."
Humor against women can be hurtful because women don't have the power--I've never ever heard of a straight man, or even a redneck straight man, be hurt by a Jeff Foxworthy joke about how dumb men can be.
This song is based on the same premise as "My Super Ex-Girlfriend." It reverses traditional power dynamics and this reversal is funny. No one laughs at violence against children, when it's "Home Alone" and the kids have the power, we roar. So don't be too hard on yourself. This would have worked a little better if the delivery was a little more tongue-in-cheek is all.
I actually found it quite amusing, and did not feel in any way that it trivialised domestic violence. Please don't be so hard on yourself it was meant to be light hearted and it should be taken in the spirit that it was meant. The majority of people would agree that domestic violence of any kind is abhorrent.
Take care
Yasmin
ps. I sent you the You tube video of "The Streak", which by they way I still find hilarious after all these years.
Don't apologize for posting something in your own blog. So many people are humor-deprived these days.
Russ
Oh dear, ok, so I did think of the content the other way too, but I am British and we Brits have a best sense of humour in the world. (I think you were a Brit in your past life) If you can't laugh at lifes pains sometimes, you will never get through the day.
It was a funny song and as usual a great post.
Gaz xxx
I got the spirit in which you posted it, but I do understand the other end. I get slammed for insensitivity in emails & then I open 3 telling me how compassionate I am. ~Mary
Sheria, I KNOW neither you nor your friend meant anything insensitive! Without being able to hear it, how it was said and the music, and without the backstory, it was harder to catch teh humour. With the backstory, yeah, it's funny.
And, to Marc, just an fyi that I personally knew two men who were beat up, often, by women. Not saying it's very common, or at least they were reluctant to bring it up, and perhaps you're correct that men who are abused are most often abused by men, I don't know.
Post a Comment