Tuesday, December 5, 2006

A Cure for What Ails Ya'

I received an email from a friend who's having a bad day at work.  Her bra is killing her, she can't breath, and on top of all that, her boss is driving her nuts.

For those of us who are generously endowed (Warning, if you're easily shocked or offended, stop reading now!) bras are a necessity, sort of like getting an annual pap smear.  Not enjoyable, but it must be done.  Unfortunately, the bra that you have worn a dozen times before may turn on you.  One day you're sitting in a meeting and suddenly your boobs feel unnaturally constricted.  Surreptitiously you try to make a boob adjustment but your co-worker, Bob, is leering at you, so you silently suffer, hoping that the meeting will adjourn soon and you can make a quick trip to the ladies' room. 

Of course, the only real relief will come when you arrive home and free your boobs from confinement.  Whenever my doorbell rings, I have to make a quick visual check to be certain that there isn't a bra tossed over the back of a chair in my living room.  When I arrive home, divestiture begins as soon as I walk through the door and sometimes I let things fall where they may.

Concerned for my friend's well being and feeling her pain, I tried to think of words of comfort and advice.  I was also motivated to say something because of her threat to go postal.

I thought back to the times in my life when I have been stressed or unhappy. What had alleviated my sadness, calmed my nerves, soothed my spirit?  The answer was so simple, so doable, so logical!  There is only one solution, one thing that can avert bloodshed--eat some chocolate!  Chocolate makes everything better. Man breaks your heart--eat chocolate!  Can't pay your bills--eat chocolate!  Boss driving you crazy--eat chocolate!  Many a woman could have avoided prison time if she only had put down the gun and had a box of chocolates.

 
This has been a public service announcement.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Chocolate and coffee... my mannas from heaven.

be well,
Dawn

Anonymous said...

OML.I thought I was the only one in this world that felt this way ....eat chocolate,,, the electric bill is 350.00 yes I ate all the chips in my fridge for my chocalte cookies.. made it easier :)

Anonymous said...

If i freed my boobs i would double my waist size. LOL
Jenny <><
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jennyp51/stop-the-clock-times-moving-too-/

Anonymous said...

LOL! Sheria, I sympathis with your friend. I only wish that I was so well-endowed as to experience BRA trouble! Chocolate is definitely a cure for everything ... oh except obesity! But I love it anyway,
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/

Anonymous said...

isn't chocolate the "other" food group???

Anonymous said...

Sounds good to me!

Anonymous said...

I agree chocolate can be very healing lol

Yasmin

Anonymous said...

I had some chocolate today and I must say, you are 100% RIGHT!

Anonymous said...

Chocolate is definitely the cure-all to many ailments!!!! Couldn't live without it! I loved the notes about the bra.  I am one of those well endowed ones, but unfortunately, after 3 kids, they tend to have gone south. I am very uncomfortable going without a bra, so I don't really have to worry about one being tossed over any furniture! LOL. Hugs, Caroline
http://journals.aol.com/caromarls/ANewAdventure

Anonymous said...

Why not encourage her to have a breast reduction? I did. I was once an E,lol..I wish i hadnt taken out as much but running without feeling two balls are boucing was a relief. And besides, you get a full lift in the process....just a thought..~Raven

Anonymous said...

lol...i wholeheartedly agree!!!!  i love chocolate!
gina